Ismael's Reply.....So good I have to share

So Melissa is having a halloween party. Although I am not into dressing up, (was a monk from 1994-2003) I do enjoy Halloween parties. So when Melissa told me she was having a party this year, I became excited. I then found out that all the food will be cuban fare, which those of you who know me, know that I hate and do not eat. So i felt compelled sending Melissa my discontent with the food options:

" about the food? Ummm.........is this party taking place in Havanna or something? WTF? Whats up with the cuban food? What am i supposed to do, i dont eat that crap. I think that as the host of the party you should take your guests into consideration rather than making said choices without consulting with key people as myself. -DJB"

BUT WAIT.........thats not the best part, rather it is Ismael's response to my email:

"think that as a guest you should shut your trap and appreciate the fact that someone is spending money on feeding your ass and understand that because you like to be difficult and pretend your last name is Jones, doesn't mean you're in the majority and should therefore just say thank you like a gracious guest instead of a petulant child...but i love you." - Ismael

All I have to say is "priceless"........that is why I love this guy and at the same time he is the person I most despise in the world!

RE: Stupid People that think they are smart asses

Ok, so I have these clients, who were referred by a friend. (thanks Janet and Marcy ..ugh). These people whine and complain about everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. I recently filed a Motion to Dismiss their Foreclosure complaint. This was a kick-ass motion that I wrote complete with a full legal memo. So when I call them to tell them that I had won the motion on their behalf (a feat that is rare in Foreclosure defense), they don’t thank me and proceed to point out to me that I had misspelled a word in said Motion. WTF????????

Secondly, so they also have not paid their legal bill in three months! So when I call to see why, they are upset that the bank changed the locks in their now vacant investment property. Well smart ass, the reason they changed the locks is because you have not paid your mortgage in NINE MONTHS!!!! What really bothers me about these people is that they really think they know it all. One of them is a paralegal which according to her knows more than attorneys and judges, which makes me ponder why such a legal mind is currently unemployed! So now they want to renegotiate the Retainer Fee because they feel it’s too expensive!

BITE ME!!!!

I know everyone, in no matter what industry deals with difficult people, and I know this may sound pretentious, but if you come seek the advice of an attorney, don’t try to impress me with how smart you are and how much you know about the law, I’m the attorney here, not you!

PS....I know that Beaker has nothing to do with this posting, but he is my favorite muppet, I couldnt think of anything else, and his face pretty much shows my expression when speaking to these people.

Jay Z Commercial.........SICK!!!!!

Watch Jay Z recreate his album covers! Bad ass commercial! With that said, "Empire State of Mind" has been on repeat in my ipod for weeks, and now that the Yankees are in the World Series (more on that later) its even more anthemic.

Am I the only one that thinks this commerical is awesome?

A Wedding, A Reunion, and a long Drive

Well my grand tour of the Midwest is coming to a close. I am in my last night in Chicago. Lets see, so I started in Chicago, made my way to Milwaukee, then back to Chicago, then to Lansing, Ann Arbor, Dayton, Indianapolis and finally Chicago (again).

It was great to reunite with all my friends from law school again. We all made a pact to see each other at least once a year, and so far so good, we have been faithful to our word. It was great to see Carrie getting married! Although I was lucky to have made amazing friends during law school, Carrie and I were virtually inseparable, she was my best buddy! We literally got through law school together!!!

Well time to go back home and the routine! ugh............

Anyhow, congrats to Carrie and Ken!!!

The Obama Chia Pet.........Are you serious??

So the other day I see your standard Chia Pet commercial for The Chia Obama. Immediately I thought, "what a funny SNL skit," the problem was that it was midday and it was not Saturday. This was a real commercial, and Joseph Enterprises the company that creates and distributes Chia Pets is completely serious.

I am not sure if the Obama Chia Pet is a compliment or an insult. I have mixed feelings that the actual chia plant is supposed to be the presidents hair? Many people have found the Chia Obama as a racial jab at our president since the actual Chia can resemble an afro. While I don't think it is racist, I do think it is another silly attempt to capitalize on Obama's popularity.

For those of you who are just plain curious here is the link:

www.chiaobama.com

So the Chia Obama, inappropriate or collectors item?

Media Whore vs. Media Whore

In Corner #1 we have Richard Heene the father of "Balloon Boy". As most of you may know last week Heene alleges that his boy was inside a home-made balloon that mysteriously floated away with his little boy inside. Heene's son was in fact not inside the balloon, but rather, was in the family's garage. Oversight? Not likely.

In Corner #2 We have Gloria Allred, tv and celebrity media personality who claims to also be an attorney but spends more time in front of television cameras than in an actual office or courtroom.

Both of these personalities, Allred and Heene, are the biggest media whores one can come across. Heene, we learn, was previously on a show called Wife Swap and was currently attempting to pitch a reality television program about his family, because after all, they are "scientists". What better way to get a reality tv show than to claim that a balloon that you made took your son away.

Gloria Allred on the other hand is a real class act. It seems that every time there is any issue with a celebrity and their families, Allred is the first one to come out on TMZ and "fight for whomevers rights." People like her give attorneys bad names, and it is the Bar of California that should make an investigation about her. Currently she is proposing that Heenes parental rights be taken away because of the fiasco he caused. While I think the guy is a total idiot and should foot the bill the city and county had to attain due to his hoax, that does not make him unfit to be a father. Allred has cried wolf so many times that no ones listens to her. Her only real forums are those of celebrity news shows. She claims to be an advocate, but of whom, TMZ? I have been following her closely for a while and I have yet to hear about an actual real case where she really helped someone out or had some type of influence in an actual court ruling. I find it appalling that she is criticizing Heene for starting a media circus, this was the same woman that said that Heather Mills $48 million dollar divorce settlement from Paul McCartney was unfair and sexist. Yeah Gloria, I would love to know how many Pro-Bono cases you take a year and how many low income clients you have. After all, you want to be a "fighter for rights"

So in this fight, Richard Heene, not even your balloon boy idea is a match to super celebrity, TMZ, loving attorney Gloria Allred! Its a Knockout!

Am I the only one who thinks she is a media whore? Thoughts?

Pondering life questions in Chicago

I had a great time in Chicago this week. I got to take in all my favorite spots! There was a moment when I was sitting in Millennium Park in which I could see the Boeing HQ. I looked at it and thought....."I have always wanted to work there why haven't I done anything to make that happen" Its so hard, the small practice gig is going well, but Boeing is a dream I have had since I was a kid. I am torn, decisions. Its time to refocus!....Well atleast I will be back again next week and hopefully be taking the Frank Lloyd Wright tour!!

Birthday Appreciation!

I said I was going to attempt not to make this blog too personal, so excuse me for this exception. Looking at this picture brings a smile to my face at all the awesome people I have in my life. Here we are about to embark on my birthday "adventure" and it felt really good to have so many people that love me and care for me around. I have been a tad under the weather recently and it felt good for at least a short time to forget all that crap and just have fun, smile, and laugh!!!

Thank you all for such a great birthday, I wanted to have a party, then I changed my mind, then I did not want to do anything. At the end I am happy with the outcome.

Thank You!

CHICAGO: I'm Coming Home!!!

Well not exactly. I am not from Chicago and I have never actually lived there, but I might as well have. I visited Chicago for the first time more than ten years ago, and I immediately fell in love. During the Michigan years, being only a four hour drive from Chicago, I was there every other weekend. I simply could not get enough of the damm place. From the Mag Mile, to State Street, to the River, museums, and most importantly the ARCHITECTURE, from the minute I set foot there I immediately felt I belonged. Unfortunately, I am stuck in freakin Miami which put against Chicago is like comparing a Kia to a Benz. For years I have been saying that I want to live in Chicago and will stop at nothing to do so. The fact is that I have not done much recently to actually move there, but that's another story. My dream.......living in Chicago, working for Boeing, going to watch the White Sox's and trying to find my reflection on the bean just for fun! Maybe one day!

So finally, this week I will be going back to Chicago after a two year absence. Even though I have been there countless times, every time I go I am just as excited! Each time its a little harder to leave!!!

MOMS: Is it in their nature to always say the "obvious"

My mom is great, but she seems to always tell me what I already know.

So next week I am off to Chicago and to Michigan for a couple of days.

My mom calls me today to remind me to take lots of sweaters and jackets because it is cold in the Midwest at this time of the year. She felt compelled to call me at almost 11pm to tell me this. Isn't she sweet!!

I lived in Michigan for three years.

Oh captain obvious!!!! Am I the only one that has a mom that always states the obvious?

Countdown to My Birthday: A Retrospective

So another birthday nears. Some people see their birthdays as just another day, just another year. I don't! Its funny, when I was a kid all the way to my mid-twenties, I would be so ecstatic on my birthday. The day was all about me. In the past several years however, it has been completely different. Instead on my birthday I reflect on my life, those around me, what I have accomplished and what is left to be done. When the hell did this happen and who sucked out all the fun???

This year, i am in my thirties. My twenties are far gone. Like most people, my twenties were so much fun, such a great experience. I think of my life when I was 20 compared to my life now that I am 30 and see all that has changed, yet on the other hand I see what the constants are. The constants are good! I am lucky!

I have always said that your thirties are arguably the best time of your life. You are no longer immature, but you are still young, your career should be set or on its way, and your personal life should also be coming together if it has not already. Sometimes I feel I am exactly where I want to be at 30, sometimes I feel nowhere near where I want to be.

I was thinking of having a huge party this year, but then I changed my mind! (you guys that have known me for a while, remember by 22nd birthday party......how about 100 people fit in my house still amazes me).

Anyhow, don't mind my nonsensical introspection, on Thursday I will be fine, but thanks for reading it anyways!!! Do any of you get this mushy on your birthday?

Here is to another great birthday!!!!

CAUTION: Paranormal Activity will alter your sleeping habits.

So what is all the buzz about you may ask? For several months the the film media has been talking about this film and how it terrorized its sample audiences. Well, after such hype and great reviews I went to this film expecting for the fright of my life. While during the actual film I was not as scared as I had hoped to be, the film does something worse, it plays with your mind. It is not until you get home and go to bed that the real horror and realism of the film really hits you. Part of the sheer terror of the film is that the subject couple is your typical young couple living in a typical cookie cutter home with what seems to be furniture and home accessories you would find in your local Target, and it is exactly that which makes the viewer relate to these characters and really believe that this too can happen to you. It is when you realize this that the movie really starts to play with your mind, and by this time of course you will probably already be in bed attempting to go to sleep. Interestingly enough, it is the couples bedroom where all the paranormal activity happens, and thanks to their camcorder, we can see all of it.

Sweet Dreams!

Ummm....Can You Say "Premature"

Republicans and Fox News must be all over this one….President Obama has just been awarded the coveted Nobel Peace Prize. Yes, I am scratching me head too.

While I am a supporter of our President and do believe he has the potential to make significant strides in peaceful conflict resolution, awarding Obama the Nobel Peace Prize ten months into his presidency looks like more of a political message from the Norwegian Peace Committee who unanimously elected Obama as the laureate of said prize. When you consider previous Nobel Peace Prize recipients such as Mother Theresa, The Dali Lama, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., and Yitzhak Rabin among many others, you really start to wonder how Obama actually got the award.

According to the Norwegian Nobel Committee, the Peace Prize is awarded to “the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses." While I think the intentions of the award are great, based the NNC’s own definition of the requirements for the Peace Prize, it should be awarded for past conduct, not the potential of said conduct.

Personally, the Nobel Peace Prize lost a significant amount of legitimacy when it was awarded to Kofi Annan some years ago. Annan was perhaps one of the most corrupt and controversial figures to serve in the United Nations. Reportedly Obama did not know he was a nominee and was shocked and surprised when he heard the news this morning. Wow, can you imagine how we feel!

What do you think?

The Empire Strikes Back

After the fluke that was the 2008 season and accompanying World Series, the Yankees are back baby!!!! What a way to officially start the 2009 ALDS Playoffs than with the awsome performance the Yankees gave on Wednesday night against the Minessota Twins

Of course my boy Derek Jeter showed that he is "the man." Derek Jeter quickly erased Minnesota's early lead with a two-run homer in the next half-inning and Nick Swisher's run-scoring double--with the aid of shoddy throws from both left fielder Delmon Young and shortstop Orlando Cabrera--in the fourth frame gave New York the lead before the Yankees broke the game open in the fifth inning. Jeter drew a leadoff walk and came around to score on Alex Rodriguez's first postseason hit with runners in scoring position since approximately 1942. Final Score: Yankees 7, Twins 2.

Its been really rough to be a Yankees fan in the last couple of years. There seems to be a lot of hate and resentment coming from other teams and fans alike. I guess it is natural that others don't like you when you have 26 world championships.

The Blog Is Back...Welcome New and Old Friends!

After careful consideration and advisement, I have have decided to start blogging again. Once upon a time I blogged like crazy on myspace, but now that said site is not what it once was, I lost my forum. Anyhow, I have a lot to say and share so I thank you all in advance for reading. So I will try to break down my fourth wall and share whats on my mind and my interests without dwelling too much on my actual personal life and making it all about me, which is not my goal.